NaNoWriMo

So, I am doing it. Sure, we are only 5 days in, but so far I am keeping on task and writing a fairly decent story. Now, I have to tell you, it is difficult because I am getting the words on the page, but I am not editing. Sure, I hit spell check on occasion, but I am not going back and agonizing on the choice of words, on changing something I wrote to foreshadow some idea that comes to me in a moment. I am writing, and when the month of November is over, I will go back and look at it and make the adjustments that I need to make to make it a GOOD story. Right now it is just decent.

I am not use to writing this way. Quantity over quality is not something I am use to doing. It is as much of a challenge as just spitting the words out there. I have all kinds of cool ideas for this story that I am writing. I hesitate to call it a novel, tho that is what NaNoWriMo calls it. Right now it is just a series of words and a story that is growing. It has a life of it's own. I know generally where it is heading, because, well, because I wrote the ending first. ;-)

I am putting off returning to school to complete this challenge. At first I thought that was crazy. I could do both. Um, no frigging way! So, it would make more sense for me to drop NaNoWriMo and start classses; that would be the responsible thing to do. But when would I have this opportunity again? Sure, next November you say, but I will still be in school then, so... The November after that? Nope. I'm doing this and school can wait til January. I'm kinda enjoying a break from the books anyhow. It would be nice to defer my loans again (yes, the real reason everyone goes back to school) but I can make those payments for another 2 months.

So, NaNoWriMo, I am committed to you and I will complete the challenge with something that someone may wish to read some day. I'm not delusional enough to think I will publish it in a book type form, but maybe I will plop it on the web somewhere and bored housewives and students who should be studying may wander by and chose to read it. Kinda like whoever wanders by here and reads this silly drivel I spit out of my head here.

NaNoWriMo

Yup, I'm doing it!

He lay beside her and gently ran his fingers across her cheek, whispering words into her ear; words that meant nothing and everything at the same time. Her breathing was jagged. Long deep breathes followed by shallow gulps of air and then nothing for 10-15-20 seconds at a time. Every time her breathing paused like this he was sure she was gone and that he lost his chance to tell her that he loved her but then she would take a long deep breath and he knew he had her for a moment longer and could delay his confession for yet another 30 seconds.

The wind was blowing through the cracks in the window sill and the snow swirled softly around in the sunny winter's light. She loved to watch the snow fall and would sit at the window and watch it for hours. Often times she would remark how clean it made everything look. Like it was washing away the sins of the planet. Today would be a fitting day for her to die.

He snuggled in close to her, holding her hand and resting his head on her shoulder as a tear streaked its way down his face. He tried to match his breathing with hers and found that he was becoming light headed in the attempt. He knew the end was near and if he was ever to let her know the time would have to be now.

"Kathryn, I know that you detest these words, but my heart needs to scream them out from the highest mountain top. I refuse to lose you without you knowing how much you mean to me. Obviously we meet under some pretty strange circumstances and this relationship took on a life of its own. I love you, my Darling Kathryn. I will never regret a moment we spent with each other and you are the..."

"Stop" she whispered. Her eyes remain closed, but he is sure, yes he KNOWS that she uttered that solitary word.

"I can not stop any more that you can continue. I want to take you dancing on the beach in the moon light. I want to sing to you in the rain. I want to hold your hand as we grow old and sit on the couch and yell at the idiots on Jeopardy. I want you to cook terrible meals that smell up the entire house and then I want to rescue the evening by running to the store for cheeze wiz and saltines. I want you to be the woman I can call..."

"Stop" she says again. This time he knows he has heard it, though by looking at here it appears she has not moved an inch and that her breathing is still in her regularly irregular pattern that is has been in for the ast 2 hours.