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supercallousedfragilemysticplaugedbyhalitosis

Ghandi was a great man and walked everywhere he went so the skin on his feet became very cracked and hard, and due to continual hunger strikes was fraile but maintained his amazing almost supernatural gifts of peace and understanding, but again due to his eating habbits his breath was horrible. So Ghandi was a...

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Location: Clawson, Michigan, United States

I am proud to say I am a Mother, a Daughter, a Student, an Employee, a Minister, a Healer, a Poet, a Cynic, an Activist, and many more things that change on a moment-by-moment basis. I live in constant amazement of this adventure we call life, and acknowledges that while the road may be bumpy, the ride is exciting. I graduated from the Registered Nurse program at Alpena Community College in May 2004. In August 2010 I received my BSN and the, ever the glutton for punishment I went back to school and obtained my MBA with a specialization in Healthcare Administration in May 2012. I am contemplating going on for my PhD APRN. If I decide to do that... SHOOT ME! I am a manager for a not for profit hospice agency based in Michigan, but the position allows me to work remotely so I may be traveling a lot over the next few years. I battled and defeated breast cancer and now I am living life to the fullest!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

If you can't say anything nice...

I looked back over my blog as I am want to do, and I realized that in 2009 I blogger 2 maybe 3 times total. Was this because I had no profound thoughts to dump out of my brain that entire year? NO! It is because I always try to live by the wise words of my mother. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." 2009 was a difficult year for me. The divorce was not a pleasant experience (are they ever) and I was in very dark places in my mind most of the year. I think I did a good job of hiding it, but was that really the right decision? Well, another mom-ism was "Don't cry over spilled milk" so I won't spend too much time thinking that thought.

2010 has been a very interesting year so far. I am coming into my own. I am feeling like ME and kinda enjoying that. Sure, I come second to my boy (That will never change) but otherwise, I am at the top of that totem pole. FUN! It's a nice view from up here.

In the beginning of May I had my ovaries removed. It was something I thought long and hard about and am glad that I did it. Sure, hot flashes suck, but the nightmares I have saved myself from are well worth the strange internal boiling sensation that creeps up on me like a knife wielding shadow in a B rated horror flick. The only real issue I have with my decision to have my ovaries removed is that I will no longer be able to have any children. Sure, Edward is 14, I have said for the past several years that I would rather eat arsenic dipped razor blades than go back to diapers and car seats, but when a friend has a new little one, or I run across a cute little outfit at the local super store, or a friend mentions that a baby might be nice... my uterus (which is still intact, thank you very much) cries. I cry a little bit too. I often pride myself in the fact that there isn't anything I can't do. (Again, thanks Mom... You always told me that, and I guess I still believe it) but have another child is not something I can do. :/

2010 is going to be a year of changes. Changes in my health, in my creditworthiness (Damn FICO scores), changes in my attitude and perspective. So, today, May 29, 2010 I make the following declarations...

I will continue the positive health changes I have started. I've lost 48 pounds since October, another 48 by this October...
I will save a bit more, and eat out a bit less. I am still going to splurge on travel and little things for me because, damn it, I work hard and I am worth it.
I am just that good, and I deserve the best. I will demand the respect I deserve and will only tolerate so much bull shit before I walk the other way. You have been warned.
I will see myself as a priority and that my happiness matters.
I will ask for what I want and make an informed decision when I am told that I will or will not get what I want.
I will complete projects that I have started and take pride in their completion.

Ok, well, that's a start. And again, I will try to be a more faithful blogger. But I still find that if I can't say anything nice...

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