Decisions
Ok, so this is a strange one. I "found" the person who changed my dad. And I want to talk to him, but I'm not sure why, or even what I would say.
Here's the background. When I was a year old, my father was a police officer in Royal Oak and was hit by a drunk driver while my father was directing traffic at an accident site. My dad was severely injured and spent 38 days in the hospital, and has never been the same since. The person this hit him recieved a $75 fine and a 30 days suspended license.
Through the years, he has written my dad. He is in AA (and still appears to be from what I can google) and he seemed to be genuinely remorseful over what happened.
But I want to meet him.
Talk to him.
Find out who he is.
How he feels.
I don't hate him, and I don't want to cause him pain, but I do want to know what his spin on things is.
I'm not sure what I would say to him, or even how to approach him. I tried this back in the 90s. He was working the AA help line and I talked to him on the phone, although now I can not tell you what I said or what he said.
Why do I want to do this? Should I? Does he own me this? Do I have a right to ask?
Here's the background. When I was a year old, my father was a police officer in Royal Oak and was hit by a drunk driver while my father was directing traffic at an accident site. My dad was severely injured and spent 38 days in the hospital, and has never been the same since. The person this hit him recieved a $75 fine and a 30 days suspended license.
Through the years, he has written my dad. He is in AA (and still appears to be from what I can google) and he seemed to be genuinely remorseful over what happened.
But I want to meet him.
Talk to him.
Find out who he is.
How he feels.
I don't hate him, and I don't want to cause him pain, but I do want to know what his spin on things is.
I'm not sure what I would say to him, or even how to approach him. I tried this back in the 90s. He was working the AA help line and I talked to him on the phone, although now I can not tell you what I said or what he said.
Why do I want to do this? Should I? Does he own me this? Do I have a right to ask?
posted by Angela | 04:29
1 Comments:
Hey gal. Nice to see you're still around - and angsting over life decisions.
I'd say since you have a hankering to meet with him, go ahead and ask. I think it's fine to have no expectations whatsoever. Just say you want to meet and have no idea what might happen. Be open to the possibility that you might stand him up, might get really angry, might feel a great deal of sympathy for him, might end up laughing togehter, might end up crying. And you might also be profoundly disappointed that you don't feel anything at all, but just had to do it to find out if you would or not. And, more than anything, if he's willing to meet with you, you might just provide him with a missing piece of his life and meeting will be much more meaningful for him than it is for you - regardless of your reaction being positive/negative/neutral.
Wouldn't you want to offer him that?
You seem like the kind of person who would.
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