Flames
I read an article some time ago about the dangers of contacting an ex. It's so easy to do in today's connected world. I "googled" my Ex and found him in 0.32 seconds (per Google's calculations). We e-mailed, chatted on the phone and met again in person. We had many conversations about times past, and events that had transpired in the 7 years we had been out of touch. It was a great walk down memory lane and my heart lept at times. We did the "what if's" and the "did you ever think of me's" and the, "hmmm, should we go there again's", and I saw the danger.
But I have to say, spending time with the Ex made me realize how lucky I am to have who I have now. I like who I am now. I am me, with my husband. I was someone different entirely around the Ex. I said what he wanted me to say, acted how he wanted me to act, cow-towed to his every expectation. Ick.
With Hubby, I am me; a strong, opinionated woman who likes herself, who is true to the person she was raised to be.
The Ex has been and seen and done things I would have loved to have experienced. Hubby and I have been less able to do these things for monetary, health and other practical reasons, but I wouldn't trade a minute with Hubby for the world.
Hubby likes people. He is empathetic and cares for others. The Ex thinks of himself first and all others after if, and only if, it works out ok in his world.
Hubby takes care of me, and I take care of him. The Ex is very self centered. Hubby is a part of the world as a whole, The Ex it the world in its entirety (in his mind).
Ladies, find that old flame, but be careful not to get burned. You will be playing with fire, but in my experience, dowsing that flame allowed me to see my world so much more brightly. I have the most amazing man in my life and no other, even the idealized Ex, could make me happier.
But I have to say, spending time with the Ex made me realize how lucky I am to have who I have now. I like who I am now. I am me, with my husband. I was someone different entirely around the Ex. I said what he wanted me to say, acted how he wanted me to act, cow-towed to his every expectation. Ick.
With Hubby, I am me; a strong, opinionated woman who likes herself, who is true to the person she was raised to be.
The Ex has been and seen and done things I would have loved to have experienced. Hubby and I have been less able to do these things for monetary, health and other practical reasons, but I wouldn't trade a minute with Hubby for the world.
Hubby likes people. He is empathetic and cares for others. The Ex thinks of himself first and all others after if, and only if, it works out ok in his world.
Hubby takes care of me, and I take care of him. The Ex is very self centered. Hubby is a part of the world as a whole, The Ex it the world in its entirety (in his mind).
Ladies, find that old flame, but be careful not to get burned. You will be playing with fire, but in my experience, dowsing that flame allowed me to see my world so much more brightly. I have the most amazing man in my life and no other, even the idealized Ex, could make me happier.
posted by Angela | 20:29
1 Comments:
Nice metaphor in that last paragraph - can I borrow that line? Dousing the flame brightened the world - something like that? And, no doubt, Hubby is Waaaaaaay better. I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I wouldn't know any other Angela. Really. Think of that. And I completely agree that lost loves of our lives can be great fig newtons (figments) of our imagination. And if that works, fine, but usually it's what we use to compare our current to, and it's not even real anymore because we have become different people than we were when. I think our partners, if all goes well, also help us to see how much better we've got it now than we did before, but also give us hope in believing it will continue to grow and be better and better.
Post a Comment
<< Home