Multiples of 4

I am bit nervous. There is this 4 year thing going on. Let’s see… 16 years ago my husband got clean. Major change. 12 years ago, we got married. Major change. 8 years ago, Paul had a kidney transplant. Major Change. 4 years ago, Paul had a pancreas transplant. Major change. What’s in the cards for this year?

I’m liking our boring life. No major catastrophes. No major going ons. Life is just coasting right now, and I am ok with that.

I look at my brother-in-law and my friend who are in the mushy gushy throws of a budding relationship. They coo and giggle. I remember those stomach flipping days when a kiss could make you fly. I remember those days fondly, and smile when I know they are experiencing these butterfly moments, but I am so glad that it's not me. Don’t get me wrong, Paul can still make my heart skip with a tender kiss, but these are special moments, not the every day. I like that we are comfortable with each other. We are out of the “gotta shave my legs” days, and into the “oops, sorry I burped” days. We are comfortable with each other. I am so glad he is my friend, my lover, my husband and ultimate partner. I could not imagine walking through each day without him. But walking is ok. We don’t have to run. Does this make sense?

I just don’t want the 4 year thing. I like coasting. Can’t we just coast through 2006? Please?